A Coward
by dimshit
Summary: I scream at him. Throws everything I can get my hands on. Veins pops in every sides of my body. My face feels hot, and my eyes hurts like a b!tch just slapped it. Snots threatens to fall from my nose. My head feels like it's going to explode in any minutes. But I manage to not punch him for daring to hide something very serious from me. [AoKaga/Aomine's POV]


**A/N:** This is AoKaga's month, so... I made another thing. Writing style credited to **The Petulant Prodigy**. Beta-ed by my husbando Keishota, and my shit sister, Sparkleshit. If there's still errors, it's mine.

... the story is about my failed attempt at angst-

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**A COWARD**

A story about a coward Aomine

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* * *

_The first time I saw something wrong was when Kagami just stood in front of the blazing stove. Nothing above the flaring flames. No soup, nor my favourite teriyaki. Nothing at all. Not even that shining precious frying pan of his._

_He ran into the bathroom like his ass was on fire and didn't come out for more than ten minutes._

_He didn't even bother to turn off the stove._

_He forgot that he just wasted the precious gas people are dying to have._

_I asked what's wrong when he finally got out of the bathroom._

_He didn't even answer, he just gave me a smile that always manage to make my heart skip a beat._

_I could have been killed by that angelic smile, but I still managed to breathe._

_I scowled._

_However, he continued smiling at me brightly._

_Brighter than he ever smiled before, making his tiny faded freckles that splashed across his flushed cheeks more eye catching and cute._

_I thought I was going blind._

* * *

Nothing pops out when I check my phone this morning.

I groan, and then heads to the bathroom to bathe.

Somehow I don't have any energy to deal with Satsuki's nagging self. Today's weather is kind of hotter than yesterday's. I guess that's the reason why.

She looks really surprised to find myself have fully dressed when she came barging into my room. Sitting at the edge of my bed, my eyes focusing only to the phone in my hand.

"Dai-chan?" Her voice sounds so distant and hesitant. Like a mother who couldn't believe her eldest son just masturbating on his father's collections.

I want to laugh.

But then I remember that I don't have the energy to deal with her right now.

So I just stand up, and without saying anything, I walk pass her.

I purposely leave my phone at home today. Kagami won't be contacting me anyway, since he didn't send his morning routine message.

* * *

Right after the school ends, I successfully dodge Satsuki and go to the basketball court which I and Kagami usually have a 1 on 1.

After waiting for 3 hours on the bench there, I realize;

Kagami isn't going to show up.

He's not coming.

I was going to check the date on the calendar today, before I remember that I left my phone on my bed today. I curses. A woman glares at me with a pointed look, while her slim fingers covering a child's ears. Probably her son. Though I'm not really sure since the little shit isn't as gorgeous as his mother.

Well, I have seen Kagami's face when he was still a baby.

He looked like a monkey.

He got angry when I told him. Punched me in the ribs. I didn't get my favorite food that day.

It looks like I'm not going to get it today too.

Kagami must have forgotten our usual 1 on 1 since he's an idiot. Or, maybe he gets stuck somewhere in the alley because of eating too much Maji's burgers, so he's incapable to attend our match before his stomach's size reduces to normal.

I leave the court and make sure to check every alleys on my way home.

* * *

_My phone have 5 messages and 3 missed calls when I check it at home. _

_All from Satsuki._

* * *

I get to see Kagami again next week.

We curl up on the bed with his favorite blue blanket covering our body.

His face looks so serene and child-like whenever he's asleep. Though even in the dim light, I can see that his face is much more duller than before. A faded purple ring right under each of his eyes.

We're only 17 this year.

But somehow Kagami looks like he's 30 these past days. No, he isn't wrinkled like an oldman. He's slouched, and kind of dragging his own two feet when he walks. Like the energy in his body was drained, and only a small portion left.

He ate a normal people portion of food too.

I feel like picking a fight with God.

The sex was as amazing as always though. Kagami was feeling it more than usual. Gripped my body like there's no tomorrow. Chanted "I love you" whenever I thrusted deep inside him.

I shudder.

My gut squirms when I remember that every time I tried to answer him, he covered my mouth with his (somehow cold) hands as if he didn't want to hear it.

"You don't need to say it, Daiki..." was what he said. "I'm not ready."

It's so disgusting what my heart did to me when I heard that. I could feel my eyes blurred.

Now too.

I don't understand it at all.

* * *

Kagami is crying when I step in to the bathroom next morning.

I freeze, just like a burglar who's caught in action.

He looks up from his crouched position. The same expression on his face.

I stare at him. He stares at me back as his tears keep falling from his beautiful ruby eyes.

Blood is in the toilet beside him.

I scream at him. Throws everything I can get my hands on. Veins pops in every sides of my body. My face feels hot, and my eyes hurts like a bitch just slapped it. Snots threatens to fall from my nose. My head feels like it's going to explode in any minutes. But I manage to not punch him for daring to hide something very serious from me.

Kagami cries all day.

I refuse to see him.

* * *

"You look like you just stuffed a cotton inside your eyes, you know," is the first thing I say when I approach him again at the kitchen that night, staring at the napkin on his hands.

My eyes feels so puffy and heavy.

His too.

Kagami laughs.

He sounds so fucking happy that I can't help but laugh too.

My inner instinct is furious.

I hug him. Don't even let go when he needs more room to chop the carrots.

I wonder if people know that he's mine only.

* * *

My phone vibrates all night.

No doubt it's Mom, wondering where the hell I've been, and why I haven't come home.

I grab it when it's vibrates again for the seventh time, and without so much as a pause, rejects it right away.

"Why aren't you answer it?" Kagami sounds so worried, concern fills his tired face.

He doesn't need to.

My Mom isn't dying. He is.

I throw my phone away until I hear it crashes againts the wall. I probably need to buy a new one after this. Slips inside the blanket, closer to the body waiting for me in there, I touch every single parts of Kagami, leave him bite marks for the world's eyes to see.

I don't fucking care with what his teammates will say, what Tetsu will say about leaving such a mark in visible places.

Kagami is mine.

Even God can't argue about that with me.

* * *

Three months fled away, and Kagami still refuses to hear me every time I want to say that I love him too, even when he's already on his death bed.

He's so stubborn. More than I gave him credits for.

I'll make sure to carve it on his gravestone, so everyone who accidentally stumbled near it will know what kind of person lies beneath it.

I puke right after I think about it.

* * *

"Kagami—"

"NO. Aomine, don't."

"... What the fuck?"

"I know what you want to say—"

"No, you fucking don't."

"Daiki!"

"Taiga! Listen to me, you shit—"

He chucks a pillow on my face.

I can smell medicines on it and something suspiciously like teriyaki. The latter kind of doesn't match with how this whole place smell like an oldman's hair gell and fresh corpse.

I feel sick.

My blood boils inside, makes me want to squirm, hug myself all day. Screaming of how all these things leave a bad taste in my throat.

I'm really going to punch him for acting so selfish and childish, but he beats me first before I can do it.

Kagami punch like a toddler.

"If you're going to say that whenever you see me, don't ever come."

And he's crying like a betrayed wife.

How selfish can he be?

* * *

True to my words, I didn't come to see him.

I didn't even go to his funeral.

Tetsu throws me a disappointed look when he visit me the next day. His eyes not puffy, but red from crying because he's just losing a very dear friend to him.

And it's not just him.

I rub my stinging eyes, and suddenly realize; When Kagami is selfish and childish, I'm also a coward and childish.

"I was dreaming about him last night..." even I can't recognize my own voice. It's too scratchy.

Tetsu's face softens and sadness takes over his light blue eyes. I'm so tempted to throw the mug in my hand to his face just to wipe that look off. I'm so mad. But he just lost a friend. He's sad because of that. He can't laugh for a while.

But I can.

Kagami _is_ my boyfriend.

I let the mug slip from my hand and drops onto the floor. Mom will get mad, but I don't care. I need my hands to rub the veins in my head, because it has been throbbing crazily like someone just rams it with a hammer.

Must be the God.

Wonder if I suddenly died from all these headaches, I can have the privilege to kick Him in the nuts since He always thinking of humans as a tool He can played with whenever He's bored.

It sounds so appealing.

"What dream?"

"He isn't dead," I answer him while gripping my head. It hurts so much. I feel like it will be better if I just cut it off. "He's laughing. With all his teeth... sparkling. With his finger pointed out to me,"

I had a dream where Kagami was laughing at me.

Like he just won big time.

However, tears rolled down from his closed eyes.

And all of that is my fault.


End file.
